To: You, From: Psychology

I’ve never been one to take psychological or sociological philosophy seriously — just typing those meaty words made my eyes cross. And it’s not because I’m pretentious and think my understanding of the human mind and our social behavior is superior to that Austrian dude, Fred or Fraud or whatever, or any forefather of the topics. No, it’s simply because I had a scarring 7:30am Ethics class my freshman year in college where I had a difficult time swallowing other people’s principles just to regurgitate them onto a test, and my teacher used annoying phrases like “hell in a hand basket”. From that semester on, I’ve never peeled the skin off an onion without psychoanalyzing it.

 

But, oh, how the tables have turned on me. I gave myself a personality test last night and found myself reading articles on psychological classifications and the varying characteristic traits we have, like intro/extroversion; sensing and intuitive;  thinking and feeling; and judging and perceiving.  I started to reflect on my friends’ personalities and it hit me — it takes more than knowing your loved one’s likes & dislikes or hobbies or astrological sign to give them a gift they’d appreciate.  Would you give your friend with an ISTP personality a talking parrot? Not unless you want a death threat.

 

The Introverts:


ISTJ: Focused, rational, loyal & hardworking – “The Duty Fulfiller” might like a super-duper fancy planner.

ISTP: Practical, factual, spontaneous & adaptable – “The Mechanic” might like a DIY full Hexapod robot. *Cough* Nerd! *Cough*


 

ISFJ: Kindhearted, responsible, self-critical & aesthetic – “The Nurturer” might like something botanical, like a rare orchid, or an interior design book.

 

 

INFJ: Intuitive, patient, stubborn & devoted – “The Protector” might like martial art or self-defense classes.

 

 

INFP: Thoughtful, a perfectionist, laid-back & perceptive – “The Idealist” might like the movie ‘Waking Life’ or books on Buddhism.

 

 

INTP: Theoretical, unconventional, independent & restless – “The Thinker” might like my Ethics class I took.

 

 

 

The Extroverts:

 

ESTP: Outgoing, fast-paced, enthusiastic & perceptive (and all around awesome) – “The Doer” might like a flip video camera.

 

 

ESTJ: Committed, dependable, realistic & secure – “The Guardian” might like their own speaking podium or megaphone.

 

 

ESFP: Lively, optimistic, romantic & entertaining – “The Performer” might like performints or their very own Hollywood slate board.

 

 

ESFJ: Responsible, cooperative, structured & sympathetic – “The Caregiver” might like cooking classes.

 

 

ENFP: Motivational, genuine, sensitive & alert – “The Inspirer” might like Moleskine journal.

 

 

ENFJ: Unselfish, reserved, honest & intimate – “The Giver” might like the gift of charity.

 

 

ENTP: Resourceful, knowledgeable, clever & curious – “The Visionary” might like a good pair of hiking boots or hiking gear.

 

 

ENTJ: Focused, assertive, efficient & innovative – “The Executive” might like arrogant office furniture, like an $800+ leather barrel-back Horchow desk chair. This is what I’m getting my boyfriend, except that I’m not.

 

 

And this, my friends, is my psychoanalyzed gift guide I wouldn’t recommend taking to heart, unless, of course, you have an INTP personality type. Happy Holidays!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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